If you were curious how I got that gig, you aren’t alone. It’s one of the most common questions I get.

The answer may surprise you… and it’s an important lesson in the world of business.

I actually didn’t come from a well-connected family. My parents were not high-level donors. I didn’t have any Senators who were distant relatives.

In fact, for most of my life, my parents worked common, middle class jobs … my mother was a travel agent and my father a journalist.

And I was no stranger to what struggling felt like. Three separate times while I was growing up, my father got laid off. Our family struggled for months to make ends meet – my mother had to work as much as she could and we slashed expenses right and left.

Each time it happened, we had to move thousands of miles away in search of new work. Away from friends and family.

I didn’t go to any Ivy League school and I didn’t have the best grades.

In fact, I got a B.A. in English. From a party school.

So how did I end up at the White House – writing the President’s words? At 23 years old?

Well, simply put… I know how to build relationships with the right people.

After my father got laid off when I was 13 years old, it lit a fire under me. It inspired me to study successful people to figure out what made them “tick.”

During my teenage years, I devoured biographies and autobiographies… about Presidents… Actors… Athletes… Market-leading Entrepreneurs.

What I found was that successful people – particularly seasoned entrepreneurs – all did a great job of (a) identifying who were the influencers in their field who they should build relationships with, and (2) going out and building those relationships.

They ALL knew how to identify with precision WHO they needed to develop relationships with, and then they followed through on it.

Those relationships were always a big factor in each of their successes.

So I applied that to my life. I started focusing in on building key relationships with the right influencers and VIPs who could help me land amazing opportunities.

And by my late teens, I started seeing huge results.

After I spent a semester during college as a White House intern in the speechwriting office, I returned to college with my sights set on coming back as a writer. Even though the White House takes thousands of interns per year, few of those interns end up getting hired.

But I knew who my influencers were: the speechwriters.

So what did I do? I spent the time after returning to college continuing to deliver value to those speechwriters.

Did I email them once a week asking for a job? Absolutely not.

I would clip out newspaper and magazine articles and send them to the speechwriters. I would email them to ask about their interests and hobbies. I would find quotes from past speeches and mail them in. Whatever I could find to make their lives easier.

And what do you know… before long, I got an email from one of the speechwriters to tell me about the opening.

(By the way, you don’t see jobs like this on Craigslist. You need to know someone.)

If I hadn’t clearly identified who my influencers were, picked relevant ways to keep in touch and provide value, and implemented a follow up strategy, I never would have gotten that job.

This is a system I’ve been able to implement over and over again in different industries.

The lesson in all of this is that it’s critically important that you are clear on your goals. You need to know who your influencers are – whether they are world famous, or simply successful business owners in your local community. (If you don’t know, I can help.)

Second, you need to figure out your means of attack – what types of ways you want to deliver value. And third, you need to implement a follow up strategy.

So what stops us from doing all of this?

I’ve studied the mental blocks that plague so many entrepreneurs and professionals and literally prevent them from ever establishing relationships with the key influencers and VIPs in their industries.

Even though we all are fully aware that those relationships could make a huge difference in our businesses.

These mental blocks are FAR more damaging than we would care to admit. In fact, I think they are the

Bigger than lack of financial resources. Bigger than having access to the right tools. Bigger than “knowing how to find an influencer’s email address.”

I’ve met people whose psychological baggage is the only thing keeping them from making more money, working with their dream clients, spending more time with family or creating a little more freedom in their life.

And I’ve found there are certain common limiting beliefs that most people share when it comes to building relationships with influencers:

This is the most common refrain I hear again and again. And it is simply not true.

We look up to some successful influencers – perhaps a business owner who has dozens of employees and a business earning multiple seven figures of revenue per year – and we think there’s no possible way we could have “anything to offer” that influencer.

So what do we do? We give up. We don’t even try.

In fact, it’s not hard to find ways in which you can “provide value” to the influencers you meet.

All you really need to do is learn about the influencers you want to meet. You need to be attuned to their needs and wants.

Once you know what they need (rather than what you want), you can be responsive to it and help them tremendously.

Where do you find information about influencers you want to meet?

Not that long ago, it could be very difficult to find information about the influencers in your industry, particularly if they kept a low profile.

Today, it is much easier. Social media websites or simply googling a person’s name can reveal a lot of information about that person.

You may be able to learn a bit about his or her interests, hobbies, family members, and even favorite sporting teams. All of this information is valuable when you are looking for ways to “connect” with someone.

One of the most common barriers I hear frequently is “I just don’t have the time.”

Its sounds something like this: “I recognize it’s all about who you know… but I just have so much on my plate right now… my ‘to do’ list is a mile long. I need to service these clients, pick up the dry cleaning… you name it.”

So what happens? Do they create any progress? Nothing happens.
The truth is, you don’t need much time to build relationships with influencers and VIPs in your industry. You can build relationships in just 10 minutes/day.

The key is consistency and building the right habit under the right system.

Do you really think if you only had the email address of a few VIPs, that would be enough?

We like to think there’s a quick solution, a “hack” that will accelerate our progress.

It’s simply not true. Sure, you need to find email addresses to reach out to certain VIPs, but there are many other ways of reaching out which may even be more effective.

This is like saying "I could be an astronaut, if I just had a rocket ship." The logic is fundamentally flawed.

But there is a better way.